Can you adopt siblings? Yes, and there are many benefits of choosing a sibling group adoption. In this article, we explore the rewards and challenges of growing your family in this way and the life-changing difference it can have on both you and the children you welcome home.
Why consider adopting siblings?
Imagine you’re a child who is unable to live with your birth family – you may have been abused, neglected, or experienced the death of a parent. You have siblings who have shared these experiences with you, and they are the only people in the world who truly understand how you’re feeling.
You’re placed for adoption, but no one is willing to adopt both you and your sibling, and after years of waiting, you’re separated. The loss and grief you’ve already experienced would deepen, and you’d no longer be able to turn to your brother or sister for comfort, with that last connection to your birth family broken.
According to #YouCanAdopt, 990 siblings are waiting to be adopted and make up nearly half of the children who need a forever home. If a home isn’t found for these sibling groups, they are at risk of being separated, which could have a lasting impact on their well-being.
Adopting a sibling group may sound daunting, but there are many benefits for your whole family, and the support we provide here at Adopters for Adoption will help you navigate any challenges that come your way.
The benefits of adopting sibling groups
A family that feels whole
If you’ve always dreamed of having a big family, adopting siblings could turn that dream into a reality. Not only will your family be complete with just one application, but you won’t have to worry about being approved a second time. This also means that you won’t have to stress about introducing your first child to a new sibling, because they’ll already have a sibling they share a bond with.
You’ll also be able to start building lifelong memories together, knowing that your family is whole and that all your favourite people will be in those ever-important photographs.
Nurturing sibling bonds
Children who’ve been through abuse, neglect, or another adverse childhood experience may blame themselves for what they’ve been through. Being separated from their brother or sister may make them feel like they’re being punished. They share a history – living through some of the best and worst moments of their young lives together.
Siblings adopted together have the opportunity to strengthen their bond, and provide each other with safety and stability as they settle into their new home. When nurtured, sibling relationships can often outlast any other connection a child or young person will have in their lifetime – positively impacting their overall well-being.
Preserving their identity
When siblings are separated, it can profoundly impact their sense of identity. Siblings provide friendship, confidence, and love. In many cases, they can also take on particular roles in their relationship, making it difficult for them to understand who they are without each other. For example, an older sibling may have taken on a parental role, looking after their younger siblings when their parents weren’t able to. Being separated could cause immense anxiety, grief, and loss as they wonder if their brother or sister is happy, loved, and cared for like them.
When siblings are adopted together, they can preserve this part of their identity and feel a sense of belonging even before they’ve fully settled into their new home. Having a sibling by their side can also help them feel less alone and different from their adoptive family, as they’ll be living with someone who shares their past and understands their experiences in a way no one else can.
Building meaningful attachments
Children who have experienced turbulent childhoods may find it more difficult to form healthy attachments and build positive relationships. Feeling rejected and let down by the people they trusted most can make it harder for them to trust new people and develop meaningful connections.
Siblings can provide a stable, supportive bond, helping children learn important life lessons about relationships. Having a sibling who has always been there for them can help them see the world in a more positive light, reinforcing the idea that trusting, loving, and unconditional relationships do exist.
Siblings can also teach each other vital social skills – such as empathy, communication, and conflict resolution – that will benefit relationships now and in future. These skills can boost children’s confidence, build their self-esteem, and enhance their ability to form trusting friendships.
Faster matching
Keeping siblings together is a priority, and because fewer people are willing to adopt more than one child at the same time, the matching process can sometimes be quicker. This means you may not have to wait long to be matched, as local authorities make every effort to keep siblings together whenever possible.
Common concerns about adopting siblings
Whether you’re thinking about adopting a sibling group of two, three, four, or more, here are some of the most common concerns and advice to help you manage them.
Will I find it too overwhelming?
Whether you already have children or adoption will make you parents for the first time, it’s understandable that the thought of welcoming multiple children into your family at the same time may feel overwhelming. You’ll need to consider the additional responsibilities that come with having more than one child and how you’ll balance these with your current commitments. However, while the change may feel significant at first, in time, you’ll settle into a new routine, and a busy, warm, and friendly home will become the new normal.
How will I divide my attention?
Adopting siblings means dividing your attention between all your children, and you may be concerned about how you’ll manage to juggle your time between them. While planning individual days out for each child is a lovely idea, there are much simpler and more realistic ways to divide your time and attention.
You could allocate time each day for each child, whether it’s having a chat while walking around the block or tucking them into bed and reading a story every night. These small moments of undivided attention will not only ensure that you’re balancing your time but will provide opportunities to create small moments of connection that both you and your children with look forward to and treasure.
Do I have enough space in my home?
If you’re planning to adopt one child and then another in the future, they will need their own room. However, while this is typically also the case when adopting children from the same sibling group, if they’ve shared a room before, they can continue to do so when they move into your home.
This is because, although children do need their own space, if siblings have become accustomed to sharing a room with each other, doing so when they move into their forever home can provide comfort and reassurance, helping them settle in better.
How will I manage financially?
There is no doubt that adopting more than one child at a time will come with additional financial responsibilities. However, when you adopt siblings, you don’t have to buy brand-new toys, clothing, or furniture.
Second-hand possessions don’t mean they’ll be worn out or of a lower quality. In fact, many people sell items on platforms such as Vinted that are either brand new or nearly new but for a fraction of the original retail price. You can also turn to family and friends who have had children themselves. They may be storing loved items in their attic, and you’d probably be doing them a favour if you took them off their hands.
Adoptive parents can also access additional financial support from the Adoption Support Fund. This grant can take away some of the worry of paying for therapeutic services if any of your children need them. From theraplay and creative therapies to psychotherapy and therapeutic parenting training, the Adoption Support Fund will help pay for therapeutic services up to the value of £5000 per year per child.
We’re here to support you
When you choose to adopt with Adopters for Adoption, you’ll receive an enhanced level of post-adoption support, so if you need help managing the challenges of adopting a sibling group, we’ll be able to provide advice and help you access additional support if and when required.
You’ll also have opportunities to connect with other adoptive parents through organised activities and meet-ups. This will allow you to build a support network, share your experiences, and ask for advice from other parents. From a free 12-month subscription to Adoption UK to a lifetime free membership to New Family Social for our LGBTQIA+ adopters, you’ll have all the support you need to welcome a sibling group into your home.
So, if you’re ready to take the leap and give children the opportunity to nurture their sibling bonds, please get in touch. Our friendly team are on hand to answer any of your questions and give you the support you need.
